Building Sandcastles

Perhaps the most devastating of all the feelings found on the emotional spectrum is disappointment. With plain sadness there may be a loss of elation, with grief a loss of something held dear, and with loneliness a lack of companionship. But somehow, inherent in the sentiment of disappointment is an acknowledgment that expectations were failed, and hopes dashed. Somehow this is much more difficult to handle. On the ambulating wave of life, one comes to terms with the reality that troughs are as inevitable as the beloved crests we all hope to surf for the majority of our lives. Understanding the inevitability of these low points enables us to cope with the difficulty they bring, knowing they are as unavoidable as they are temporary. It may be that I only hold these views because of my nature as a pessimist, though I consider myself an optimistic realist, whether this consideration is, in fact, a realistic assessment of my view on the glass’s contents.

When I imagine a particular scenario unfolding, such as the telling of a story or piece of news, I sometimes narrate in my head the potential outcomes as though I were a first-hand witness or the resonating deep bass voice-over who must make millions doing trailers for action films. By envisioning the sequence of events prior to their occurrence, I can prepare the delivery of the news or tale in order to arouse the most desirable response from my audience. The danger inherent in this method is the set-up for failure should the delivery or reception go differently than what was planned. Then, what should have been a delightful moment becomes one of frustration and disappointment—two of the most opposite of reactions from that for which I ardently hoped and attempted to produce.

Human relationships are unpredictable. They are like hurricane winds and we individuals involved in them are like meteorologists. Oftentimes, patterns do emerge making certain trajectories more likely than others. But on the other hand, no matter how many times one sequence of events happens exactly the same way, there is no guarantee that it will happen again. We can build all the walls we want to prevent damage from flooding into our lives, but that will not necessarily prevent loss or pain. And though one response could be to move away from the source of unpredictability, you can’t live on a beach on the gulf if you don’t like strong gales or high tides. Risk is an unavoidable factor when engaging a dream and trying to bring it to realization. Risk is unavoidable whether you bother to pursue your dreams or not. The possibility of loss, frustration and disappointment will always be there. So neglecting to tend to the development of a hope in order to avoid getting hurt is foolishness. Might as well build sandcastles for the fun of it, even though the tide may wash them away.