1COR1.10

I've been ruminating a lot lately on God's command to live in harmony with one another to the best of our abilities; of living according to Paul's exhortation to the Corinthians in his first letter, that they be of one mind in agreement, undivided, perfectly united in mind and thought. I believe that neither God nor Paul were so naive as to believe that we contentious humans would be without disagreements, conflicts of opinion and division with reference to ideologies and theologies. Yet, in spite of the foreknowledge that such diversity would exist in our thought-lives, the commands and exhortations were made.

The expectation, then, must not be that we will always agree that water-births at home are the most holy, or that an industrious woman with a small business who makes wares to sell in the marketplace is the best definition of a Proverbs 31 wife, or that the largest quiver is the best quiver whether by biological reproduction, fostering or adoption. How, when, why and where we bear our children, not to mention how many we have and whether or how we choose to prevent their fertilization, implantation, survival, birth, etc are some of the most widely and passionately contended topics among women of child-bearing age. Conversations about philosophies on how to raise them and under what circumstances to school them are equally impassioned.

I have recently felt alienated and condescended to by many of my believing peers because of their beliefs and the manner in which these beliefs are conveyed....so much so that I avoid all such conversations with individuals whose positions are more firmly held, more heatedly defended than my own. I have recently concluded that, in Christian circles, it's not religion and politics that are the touchy subjects best avoided in social events, but child-bearing and child-rearing. Perhaps it's that we are afraid that we will create little heathens with our decisions and predestine our children for a lifetime of separation from our beloved Savior---that's a valid fear. However, it's one founded in truthlessness and disbelief in God's sovereignty. It may, in fact, be a rejection of God's sovereignty altogether by means of believing in our power as humans, and perhaps our right as Americans, to determine these things for ourselves. To determine, even, the eternal place of our children by bearing and raising them in the most right way.

I have to distinguish that it is believed by many that their decisions are the most right, because they may be so courteous as to concede that other ways are not wrong, per se, just not as right. These are like the questions found on the GRE, not questions found on the SAT. The distinction being, of course, that the SAT may offer several wrong answers and only one right answer, while the GRE offers several nearly best answers and only one truly best answer.

My antithesis to the egocentric belief that bearing and raising a child in the most right way will guarantee their salvation and future positive impact on the world leading to other individuals' salvation is simple: God's more powerful than you. You could completely mess up your child and God could redeem him anyway; you could do everything within your power to raise your kid right, and the kid may never be saved. The result of this is not that we throw our hands in the air with disillusioned hopelessness, but that we rely on the Spirit and pray.

I was blessed during my pregnancy to be reminded by several wise friends that the child within my womb was not my own, but God's. Likewise, the child raised in my home is God's, and the adult he becomes will be God's---God's to save or not to save, God's to have mercy upon or not to have mercy upon. Because I love my child ardently, I will pray for his salvation daily and raise him to the best of my ability to love God and thusly to love others. This is the point upon which we all must agree. The methods, the manners and the means---upon these points we must agree to disagree in harmony and love and respect. We must hold these philosophies, opinions and ideologies with an open hand, willing to be released at any time for the sake of the Church and, ultimately, for Christ.

I often joke that the only reason I shop at Walmart is to get a lesson in how not to parent. But I have recently been convicted that my mentality has been one of unforgiving judgment of the parenting of others based upon the behavior of their young (and occasionally grown) children. Unfortunately, I do this in more places than just Walmart, and even do it at church with my believing family members. To them I should extend the greatest love, though am often critical in the name of sharpening iron with iron and holding believers to a higher standard. Consequently, I'm slightly paranoid when Blaine acts out that others are doing the same to me. Who knows? They may be. But to the best of my ability, I must live in harmony with everyone, not creation division by my judgment or alienating ideologies. I must be united in mind and thought on the essentials and lovingly humble about the non-essentials.